I have a surprise for you. I’m very excited to share! I have gone so long without changing my blog name or address, but I feel it’s time. This change is permanent. I’m still working on things there so please be patient. You can rest assured that the theme of the blog will be no different from this one. I have a domain name and a permanent blog name. Please change your bookmarks and your subscriptions and join me at theblackfern.com
See you there!
We had the pleasure of hosting my parents for the past few days. Since we moved here a year ago, I have been excited to show my mom and stepfather our new home–Minneapolis. Even though they learned of a family death on their drive to our home they still enjoyed their visit. I hope we were some comfort to them both.
A variety of philosophies and parenting techniques exist when it comes to educating our children about their bodies and about s-e-x. What and when we do and don’t tell our children most likely is related to our own experiences and the parenting we received. Nathan and I both had parents that told us something. I don’t know what Nathan’s parents told him about the male body and about intercourse, but I do know he felt he was a little young for the information that was conveyed.
I mostly learned about puberty with a video in 6th grade. I think I spent more time enjoying the animation than really allowing it to sink in that my body was already going through changes. I attempted to ask my mom for more details. I don’t know what I expected, but I remember being disappointed with her response. When I got my period, I informed her by playing hangman. Really. That’s how shy I was. 😉
After living my life, remembering the messages and lessons I got from my peers (and Nathan tells the kids at least once a month that their peers are idiots) and making some poor decisions I’ve chosen to be the largest source of information for my kids. We want them to be able to make informed decisions and to avoid trouble. We want our children to know their worth on so many levels, but as far as this topic is concerned we want them to know their worth as a male and a female. To respect their bodies and the bodies of others. To know how to handle hormones and puberty. ETC! As a parent, we need to be. If I can at least foster a comfortable and open atmosphere for those conversations, I feel I will have done well. I want them to be informed and I want them to know they can talk to us.
Some tidbits I have learned from other quality parents and in other areas I have consulted quality books geared toward children. In the case of books, I have always read them first and used my own parental discretion coupled with knowing when my children are ready to hear the information. I thought I would share some of our intentional efforts. So far it is working for us. I can’t control the decisions my children make, but I can control how I train and prepare them to make those decisions.
Moriah loves this book. When she takes a bath I sit and read a section to her while she soaks in the tub. She loves the pictures and is able to keep up with everything I read to her. Reading it to her before letting her use it as a reference book gives her an opportunity to ask questions and see that my response is receptive. It also gives me an opportunity to explain things further if I need to. There are some sections in the book that I’m not quite ready to read to her, but maybe next year. I got this at a thrift store and the girl that checked me out said that her mom had gotten her the book when she was young and she loved it. “It saved my life,” she said.
There are similar boy books. I hope we can find one suitable for Noah and Nathan to read together.
The other two books I have read to the children are
I read these about two years ago. These books were a little more difficult for me to get through because I don’t remember being told about such biological detail when I was six, but I felt the content was appropriate for my kids (mostly Moriah). Even though they giggled through parts, I know that Moriah still remembers some of the content. I will probably read these to them again now that Noah is older. I think there are eight books in this series for ages 5-18. You definitely want to look through them before the first read, but they are worth it.
Those are just some of the things we are intentional about. I’m interested in seeing how this goes as they get older and things become more complex. This topic has become very important to me. I am aware of its delicacy and I hope that I will grow in the grace and ability to teach parents about teaching their children (parenting in general).
I finally began Moriah’s quilt. I’ve had the fabric for over a year now, but because I sew on borrowed machines, move every two years, have a tendency toward procrastination, etc. I haven’t had the opportunity to sew on a regular basis.
I plan to sew a string X quilt for The Girl. I’d show you what they look like, but I’m too lazy to add links and ask permission for posting pictures. If you’re really curious, type in “string X quilts” on Flickr and you’ll get a pretty good idea. I cut all of the strips (I hope it’s all of the strips) last night and today. The odd thing is that I just can’t bring myself to sew. I just can’t. The machine did give me one little problem, and since I’m just not feeling enthusiastic about sewing I didn’t even bother to see what was wrong.
Do you ever get bored doing something you love? What makes enjoyable things feel like work? I hope I’m not depressed. Would I know if I was depressed? I’m not depressed. I’ll spare you all the reasons why sewing is not fun for me at this point in my life, and it isn’t depression. Is anyone else moping about because they need a creative outlet? I would prefer not to do anything creative over having creative ideas that can’t be carried out. That’s what I’ve been doing–nothing creative. I was productive in all other areas of my life. But then someone asked me to be creative for a special purpose and now I’m miserable because I can’t shut it off. I thought doing something else creative would help, but it isn’t. I felt more grounded and less emotional when I wasn’t being creative,and I must say I enjoyed it. However, I am creative so I need to learn how to deal with this at some point, right? I’m pretty sure I’m over analysing this.
So, I’m not sewing. I’m returning the machine. I’m going to keep reading and cleaning and paying attention to my kids (except on Tuesdays because Tuesday is the day I only have to feed the kids. Otherwise, they are on their own). I’m going to clean my basement and pack away all of my sewing so it doesn’t taunt me. I have plenty of other ways to use my creativity, because my creativity is not limited to visual output. I hope I believe that. One of you creative types chime in so I don’t feel like a weirdo.
I finally made time for sewing. I completed two of the same project. These projects were supposed to be Christmas 2009 gifts, then they moved to being birthday gifts, then Valentine’s Day gifts and so on.
At this point in time they are what they were originally going to be when I first spotted them this time last year–“because I thought you would like it” gifts. Since I haven’t given them yet I can’t show the complete photo. When I show the complete photo I’ll give the story behind the sewing.
Have a happy weekend. I’ll be sewing more tomorrow and going on adventures with my Big Stud. What do you have planned?
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