I finally began Moriah’s quilt.  I’ve had the fabric for over a year now, but because I sew on borrowed machines, move every two years, have a tendency toward procrastination, etc.  I haven’t had the opportunity to sew on a regular basis.

I plan to sew a string X quilt for The Girl.  I’d show you what they look like, but I’m too lazy to add links and ask permission for posting pictures. If you’re really curious, type in “string X quilts” on Flickr and you’ll get a pretty good idea. I cut all of the strips (I hope it’s all of the strips) last night and today.  The odd thing is that I just can’t bring myself to sew.  I just can’t.  The machine did give me one little problem, and since I’m just not feeling enthusiastic about sewing I didn’t even bother to see what was wrong.

Do you ever get bored doing something you love? What makes enjoyable things feel like work? I hope I’m not depressed.  Would I know if I was depressed? I’m not depressed. I’ll spare you all the reasons why sewing is not fun for me at this point in my life, and it isn’t depression. Is anyone else moping about because they need a creative outlet? I would prefer not to do anything creative over having creative ideas that can’t be carried out.  That’s what I’ve been doing–nothing creative.  I was productive in all other areas of my life.  But then someone asked me to be creative for a special purpose and now I’m miserable because I can’t shut it off.  I thought doing something else creative would help, but it isn’t. I felt more grounded and less emotional when I wasn’t being creative,and I must say I enjoyed it. However, I am creative so I need to learn how to deal with this at some point, right? I’m pretty sure I’m over analysing this.

So, I’m not sewing. I’m returning the machine. I’m going to keep reading and cleaning and paying attention to my kids (except on Tuesdays because Tuesday is the day I only have to feed the kids. Otherwise, they are on their own).  I’m going to clean my basement and pack away all of my sewing so it doesn’t taunt me. I have plenty of other ways to use my creativity, because my creativity is not limited to visual output.  I hope I believe that. One of you creative types chime in so I don’t feel like a weirdo.

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