Yesterday, I turned thirty-two. Although it started out horribly, the day got progressively better and I’m so glad it did. I don’t think I will ever have sorrow over aging. The number part, anyway. I thought I’d share with you some birthday thoughts, events, and ramblings:
- I realized that I have three life-altering mistakes in life, instead of two. I’m over the two, and I’ve known about the third, but I never considered it a failure or mistake. Just something to try to get better at. This is where the horrible morning starts. A spiral of thoughts. Oh it was horrible. My biggest failure is that I, prior to a year ago, have not let people get to know me. I’m talking in person. I wouldn’t say that is the case any longer, but I woke up with that past error on my mind and it made me sad?
- I couldn’t fit any of my clothes Not a good way to start the morning, either. I wanted to be cute for my birthday. At this point I was still in mopey mood and my poor husband…oh my poor, poor husband caught without a cup. My tear-filled, hormonal, mopey speech went something like this: “Birthdays are just a reminder that I don’t have any close friends. I just tell myself birthdays aren’t a big deal cause I know no one knows they are, then I won’t be disappointed. And, no I’m not looking forward to you cooking me supper [laughter here] *side note: Nathan is not a bad cook. I have had a taste for Thai food since October.* But if that is what you want to do for me, then fine. Do it. I will receive whatever it is you want to give me.” I’m such an idiot sometimes. Do you want to know what he asked me when I said all of that? “How does it feel to be 32?” This is why God gave us girlfriends. I threw on my favorite Memphis t-shirt and the biggest pair of jeans I own–wishing I had a nice, roomy sweat suit.
- After dropping off the kids I wasn’t so sure I was going to be able to make it through the day without crying the entire time. Not tears of “poor me,” but the happy kind of tears because I have so many people here that love me, and that I realize people love me. I realized that I’m so different than I’ve ever been, and I have regained some of the things I had lost. Hence, the tears of joy. I got over the moping cause moping is stupid. Especially on your birthday.
- I started sewing & watching Extreme Home Makeover That show makes me cry every time. Tears of joy. My close friend, Anna, called while I was sewing. That also made me cry. She’s the kind of friend that I think is getting the short end of the stick in our relationship. I really appreciated the extra step to make the call. I pulled myself together because I didn’t want to spend time crying cause I’m happy. I got all dolled up after that. She maybe thought I was joking, but I really did get all dolled up for her (if you call looking like a military hippie, dolled up). She took me to pick out some flowers, we got a free slice of bread, smelled soaps, and off to work she went .
- I prefer the kind of joy that makes you smile to the one that makes you cry. I cry. I am a crier. One day I’ll tell you my crying story. If you see me crying, I’m probably happy. I rarely cry for sad reasons in public. Not many people equate crying with joy.
- NOW I know why women pluck in the car. That sunlight sure showed me the hairs on my chinny chin chin that I missed in the bathroom. Anna, this was just minutes before your bearded lady story. Today I noticed every darker spot, every pore and every hair on my face. I’m going to buy an extra tweezers for my car. Yuck.
- I love my hair It’s soft, it’s thick, it’s dark. Love it. My hair used to annoy me. I have considered shaving my head several times because combing my hair is one of my least favorite grooming activities. My husband keeps me grounded. I am growing out the straight part, so it has looked a mess as of late and I have not enjoyed the transition. I’m looking forward to having curls again. Especially, since I’ve found the miracle juice to tame my tresses. No more BIG hair.
- I have an awesome family
- I am so blessed
- Noah needs to get out more, but he taught me how to use chopsticks.
Noah is a hoot. He sang, “Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo. You smell like a monkey…and you smell like one too!” *giggle, giggle*
I was not laughing with him. Nathan says, “You look like a monkey”
Noah: No I don’t.
That kid. He also wanted to leave the restaurant cause no one else was there. “Let’s go sit in that other part [the lounge] there are people over there,” he says loudly as he gets out of his chair and starts to walk around the restaurant. His volume settings are loud and not quite as loud. His whispering is just loud, breathy talking. Perhaps it’s the plight of being a leader, yet the youngest. Noah and I are so much alike when it comes to food it is scary. I also wasn’t so sure about the place because of the look, the music, the location, and the emptiness.
I say to Nathan, “Is it too late for you to make hamburgers at home?”
For someone who prefers unique food, I should not be so reluctant to try new foods. I just want to like it. I decided to be a big girl and stick it out. The food was delicious, reasonably priced, and with ample portions. Nathan and I could have shared one meal for sure. We came home with two full to go boxes. The music they played in the background was horrible, though. We were there by five, which is really early for dinner, but as we were leaving the valet started setting up and people began to stream in. We made it out just in time.
Moriah made a drawing book for me and gave me some things she owns. Noah also made a card for me and gave me his watch. So sweet, those kids.
I had a great day. Just right, and everyone managed to pull it together for my birthday, too. I didn’t even ask. Unless you count me telling Noah that he couldn’t whine on my birthday.