I usually write based on my feelings or most current thoughts.  I’m really not in the mood to succumb to such transparency.  I’m really not in the mood to write on some topic and I’m not really in the mood to inform anyone about anything.  This is what usually happens at the end of a long stint without any time ALONE.    I’m still waiting for the week alone that I’ve wanted the last two years.  I could still use that time.I don’t think my husband really understands what I mean by ALONE.  I mean being in a cabin or hotel, but preferably a cabin (modern) or even a timeshare with no one around. I enjoy girl time and I enjoy time with just me and my hubby, but time ALONE is something I crave and when I don’t get it, I tend to grow inward in an attempt to pretend that I am actually alone even when I am completely surrounded by people.  Time alone is something I would like about once a year.  A week at the most 3 days at the least.

During this time I would read, I would linger, I would sew, I would cook, I would listen to silence and I would be ALONE.  I’d do things for myself because I want to at my own pace.  Watch movies that I want to watch.  I would visit someone only if I wanted to, only if it would add to my peace.  I would do a lot of things and when I returned I would be so much more enjoyable to be around.

Maybe one day I will actually get this time alone.  My time in Chicago two summers ago  was pretty darn close and I still look on that time with fondness.  I’m hoping that next summer I will be able to be alone.

Advertisements