I recently was asked this question and I think I gave an okay answer. I enjoy questions like this, but I would much prefer a couple of days to formulate a complete answer rather than having to come up with the answer as several people are waiting to hear what I have to say. The question is tricky because no matter what, I am biased. My experiences have biased me. It must also be known that I am not a person of regret–typically. I know that I always get another shot at learning the same lesson and the crap decisions I have made in my life, I know they have in some way shaped me. I don’t think I portray myself as an optimist on this blog, I actually like to think I’m balanced among optimism, idealism, and realism. I don’t think there is a pessimistic bone in my body–needing more confidence maybe, false humility maybe. In its own little way, all of that was related to the question. Consider it a preface.
The answer? Yes. I would get married again and I would get married to the same person. Nathan has enriched my life and been a tool to strengthen my character, he has encouraged my relationship with the Lord and challenged me in ways that have helped me to look outward instead of inward. Being married is AMAZING. More amazing than I could ever imagine. It is more than I even hoped for. I had no clue it would be this difficult and this wonderful all at the same time. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. I have never worked so hard at something, to keep it, to make it strong, to make it fun.
The question is really getting at if I like being married rather than if I want to be single–make sense? But, being single is implied. I’ve thought about the single life before. Giving my personality, if I were single now I would have to have a best friend. Otherwise, I would hole myself up in my house read books, cook, and watch TV. I would be a hermit. Being single would mean no kids, no husband and I think it would be very lonely (only because I know what it’s like to have a family). But being single would also mean a lot of other things that I miss when marriage is hard at times. I would only be responsible for myself, I would have moments alone, and the thought of that is relieving. The things I might miss about being single are not things of depth, they are things of comfort.
The other thing I thought about when asked that question is the time when I was single. I did not enjoy it, and it has shaped me and ripped me apart. But the shaping is all something that I could and do endure now, without all of the poor choices. I wouldn’t be that kind of single again. I don’t miss the drama of being single and dating. If I somehow had another shot at being single I would do it way differently. Knowing then what I know now, and would magically end up married to the same person. The bonus would be that doing single the right way would make my marriage even more rich.
If I could be single again, I would, with the intention of marrying the same man. So, again I say, “YES! If I had it all to do over again, I would still get married.” It’s really a win, win question for me. I get to do it all again–the right way–and still get married in the end. There is no way I could turn down an opportunity like that.