Today’s sermon was on the Holy Spirit.  It was kind of like a crash course/teaser in the various ways the Holy Spirit operates in our lives.  I actually spent most of the sermon trying to determine if there would ever be a point in my life when I never had a moment that I pitied myself.  It’s been a while, but sometimes the strangest things will trigger it. I think about how sometimes I  sing the same sob song about wanting deeper relationships and true girlfriends.  How I slap myself for claiming to be “an open book” but so difficult to crack open.  I must be a hardback with a very boring cover.  Why am I so difficult to get to know…why do I find it so difficult to get to know other people when I love people SO much?  Maybe I’m just not verbal.  All those thoughts are what I thought about during Nathan’s sermon.  I don’t always daydream, but today I did.  I felt liberty to…today.  I paid attention too, though.  Cause I love the Holy Spirit and as I realized how I can slip into feeling left out and as Nathan described personal characteristics of the Holy Spirit, I realized that the Holy Spirit is the forgotten and neglected and misunderstood part of the Trinity.  He is such an abstract concept—person.  But God? Jesus?  We seem to have a little bit more to pull from. Then my thoughts turned to how I want to get to know the Holy Spirit.  To have a greater understanding of how he works to at least parallel my understanding of God and His Son.  As I sat half listening and half daydreaming.  I grieved for the Holy Spirit and how we forget about him and he grieved for me and that part of me that is not yet whole that does not fully uderstand the truth about being loved and wanted and desired.  I’ve come a long way, but slip ups make me realize I still have a way to go.

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