Some of the rules you are about to read are good ones, things we should do as the wife of the pastor, but others are a bit strange, but you’d be amazed at the number of pastors’ wives striving to follow them all (or are trapped following them all). Sometimes I break these rules and get put on probation. Some of the rules are good reminders. I can’t share them all–I’d loose my patch.

1. No swearing.

2. All farts must be held in until you reach a place of solitude.

3. Your children must be well behaved, well groomed and never do anything wrong.

4. Your home must be clean at all times, and not just when guests are coming over.

5. You should have a model walk with the Lord.

6. You must like everyone in the church, but be okay with them all not liking you.

7. You must be comfortable with your life being public information.

8. Messing up is discouraged, but should you do so hiding it might not be a bad idea.

9. Smile at church. Cry in the car. Pray at home.

10. Find out what everyone in your church expects of you and accomplish those things, even at the cost of your sanity and the health of your family.