Andrea wants to take me shopping tomorrow. she says it’s because she enjoys shopping with me. sometimes i wonder though if she just thinks i don’t have a clue how to grocery shop. we have a cartoon on our fridge that she cut out of the newspaper. it is a picture of an man coming home to his wife, who is standing outside of their igloo home in the frozen tundra somewhere in the north. she has her hands thrown up in the air in complete unbelief. he is bringing home groceries in paper bags and she says to him: “Are you kidding me? A bag of ice? See, this is why I do the shopping.”

i think that this primarily stems back to the time early in our marriage when it was only the two of us eating and i stopped at the store to pick up something small and walked out with a 20lb bag of potatoes. hey, they were on sale for the price of a 10lb bag. what was i supposed to do, leave my free 10lbs of potatoes at the store? so obviously we never ate them up and they ended up sprouting their own little colonies. i haven’t been able to erase that memory association from her mind because she still thinks i don’t know how to grocery shop.

or maybe it’s because all i cook with is ground beef (chili, tacos, beef/vegetable soup, spaghetti…that’s about it. oh burgers in the summertime) and smoked sausage (stir fry, boiled, fried, baked, grilled– i like sausage anyway you serve it, but she doesn’t). whatever her motive is (and i have learned to never try to look for hidden motives because i am always wrong about them), we intend to do some grocery shopping together. then i will know how to buy all the right brands and types of food so they won’t have things like: MSG, MSN, NASA, sodium nitrites, sodium phosphate, artificial colors, artificial food particles, processed animal parts, meat product, antifreeze, too much sugar, bleached flour and any thing else not natural or organic.

i try to make healthy choices too. i eat fritos and tostitos chips because they have only three ingredients: corn, oil and salt. i try to always eat from the caffeinated beverages group. and i always eat my food fast just in case it isn’t good for me–then it will only affect my stomach and not my mouth also.

well, hopefully our shopping experience together will prove to her how health conscious and alert i am in this area.  or maybe she will start drawing her own cartoon strip.