Has anyone seen Waiting to Exhale? There’s this scene where the Angela Bassett character goes nuts and burns her husband’s things and the whole house then goes to stand by her car to smoke a cigarette as the house bursts into flames. I feel like that right now. It’s not about my husband though. It’s just this house. I feel like swearing. I want to say, “I’m so tired of looking at this f***ing, sh**. Let’s just burn it all.” Was that too harsh? Did I offend anyone? I’m sorry. Where are my manners and other things godly? I really am a sweet person (I think?). Sometimes swearing really is the only thing that can express how a person feels, then there is the swearing that makes me think, “Do you realize how unintelligent you sound? Buy a dictionary.” Has anyone noticed that I’m feeling a slight bit cynical? Did you see it coming? Am I being too honest?
Would it be totally irrational to throw away every damned crayon and colored pencil that is lying loose in the box designated for toy cars. Or to smash with a hammer every toy car that is under the couch? How about setting the rolls of wrapping paper on fire? That would be really fun. A fire, yeah. I should start a fire. I’ve done that before to relieve stress. I find a picture I don’t need, go in the bathroom and light a fire in the sink. It is very relaxing.
I’m doing the laundry tonight and I’m the one who does the packing (because I like it and am quite anal about like objects being in the same box–because I also do the unpacking). I’m tired of the never-ending mountain of laundry. I’m tired of not being moved and not being packed and it seems that the more I pack the more there is to pack. SO I’m going to get a large box and fill it with stuff that we don’t need, can get again easily and that I’m so tired of putting away I could cuss. Then I’m going to seal that box and label it “A box full of sh**” and throw it away.