Ever loose your keys, eyeglasses, anything only to find that your keys are in the door or that your eyeglasses are on top of your head? Why is it that when we are searching for something we seem to check the most obvious place last?
I remember a time Big Stud was searching for his keys. Now, I loose my keys frequently enough that I wish they had a honing device attached, but for Big Stud this was a rare occasion. He searched and searched for his keys and couldn’t find them. The first place I usually look for missing items is the freezer, so I suggested he look there. Nope. I continued to ask if he looked in his pocket (the most obvious place). He insisted that his keys are not there. Time passed and I asked again if he looked in his pocket–all of them. He looked in his pocket and they were not there. They still were not there. More time passed and I decided I would look in his pockets and lo and behold, there were a set of keys. He didn’t look in THAT pocket, because it was the right pocket and he always puts his keys in his left pocket, so why would he look there? The same reason he looked in the freezer.
I’ve been asking God for something in my life for years. “God please bring me a _____! I need a _____!” A this has been a great desire of mine for some time. As I wait ever so impatiently for my gift the Lord has shown me that I already have this gift, only it is up to me to develop it. I’ve searched high and low in the past and thought, “It’s not here. I’ve looked there.” or even “That’s not what I had in mind.” I’ve talked about this many times before maybe not to you and I’ve mentioned it briefly here on my blog. My gift? The thing that I ask of the Lord? The thing that I’ve been surrounded with all along? The thing I wrestle over and the thorn in my side?
Friendship. A dependable friend.
I have lots of relationships, but they are all still in the building stages (I’m impatient). I have struggled with friends/friendship all of my life. I don’t doubt that I am able to be a great friend, but I struggle with allowing someone to be my friend. I mean, that involves showing weakness and letting someone see how horrible I can be. I’ve had best friends before. One of them proved to be not such a good friend. I was burned badly by her and never really trusted after that. That was in elementary and junior high. Then there was college another good friend stopped being my friend (that’s another story). So anyway I had these deep friendship burns that have left scars that are still healing.
I’ve had to force myself to talk to someone when I’m going through a tough time. Pride. Not wanting to face the truth that people already know I’m not perfect (it hurts to say that). But all this time that I’m hoping for someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. Someone who understands me and someone that can shoot it to me straight. I’ve had it all along. It’s me being engaged in the relationships that I already have. I’ve been praying so hard for a dependable friend (other than my Big Stud–he’s a boy) and I’ve had it all along.
I can see our relationship growing and I am finally grown up enough to just begin to enjoy her and our relationship. There was a time a year or so ago that she shared with me like I thought she would share with one of her friends (about friendship). As she shared I learned a lot about my mother and I learned a lot about myself. She’s a wonderful woman. I’ve always thought so, but now I have more evidence. Being an adult child is the best of both world’s. My mother is the most dependable friend I could have asked for and she gets me. Plus, she shoots it to me straight, like any good mother would. I love my mommy, and I look forward to getting to know her more.