My husband and I have known for some time how many children we would have and have said many prayers asking the Lord how large our family should be. Two natural, one adopted. Those numbers were far from the five that we both originally stated we wanted when we were first married.

I had a good first pregnancy–textbook. But during that time I knew that I did not want to be pregnant often or even more than twice. The labor and delivery were horrible –far from textbook. Hyperventilating, almost passing out, having the midwife call in for emergency backup because Peanut’s cord was so tightly wound around her neck (no slipping off, it had to be cut) she was closer to death than I even want to admit, and I lost so much blood I almost needed a transfusion. But She was is beautiful. Her brother was conceived almost immediately after I stopped nursing her at one year old. He was born and I never thought I could love two as much as I loved the one. But I do.

While pregnant with Bubba we prayed about our children. How many to have? If we were done having our own, etc. We decided we were done after I had Bubba. It was a beautiful birth. All natural, four hours of labor, delivery and pushing. I had two great friends/coaches with me and that I could handle. BUT we felt the Lord said we’re done having our own. After much discussion, prayer and fasting on my husband’s part, we decided that he would receive the surgery that would prevent us from having more of our own children.

But now…

I am suffering from “baby fever.” My arms feel empty and I want another child. I still don’t feel as though I will ever get pregnant again, no miracles, no reversals. I am praying for a miracle (my hubby doesn’t know that and he doesn’t read my blog, so shh!). We know a guy whose father had a vasectomy and ten years later he was born! I don’t know about all of that, but I do know that I want another child. Now is not the time, but I like to plan ahead.

In the meantime I think of all the children who do not have parents. Their parents don’t want them, their parent’s died, or whatever. I’d love to take them all. I used to want to start an orphanage. Anyway, our prior dilemma with adopting has always been–from where and how old. I used to have all of these criteria, but now I really don’t care. I just want to take care of another child and hopefully give them a better opportunity than they would have had otherwise.

So, I’ve started researching. It is a little difficult since we have no idea if we should adopt a child of a particular race or from a particular country. My first search has been for biracial children. I got destracted mid-search and decided to write this post. But I’ll keep you posted on what I find.

It would be ideal that we adopt once I’m done with school, full time job and hubby as a full time pastor. One of us would need to be able to stay home with our new one. We both know so many people who have adopted, I know we won’t ever be short on resources and helpful information. We have so much to gain from their experiences.

In the meantime I’ll just get my fix from other people’s babies. One of my friends has a 7 month old and the other is pregnant. Many more people will have children before we adopt.

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