Graduate school has officially fried my brain. I cannot think of anything to type that does not involve psychology and when I blog I want a break from school. And if you are wondering how I found the time to do this–I’m running a four hour computer simulated study that I only guide the participants through. So, I have lots of time to read and write papers. But for now I’m taking a study break and I’m going to try something new.
You give me a topic and I’ll write about it. Anything. I will write about anything… Let’s give it a try right now…
I’ll give myself a topic and then write about it…
Customer service is becoming a lost art. I come from the south and down there hospitality seems to pour from every oraface.
Nevermind. I don’t want to write about that. See, my brain is fried. Like eggs. How do you like your eggs? I like mine hot and boiled. I can’t do the cold boiled egg thing. Too dry. I also like them fried hard. No runny stuff.
Well, my honey is still surviving the Mr. Mom role. He slacked a little bit there and needed a little cattle prodding. You know, sometimes those husbands just need to be whipped into shape. They like that, when you whip them. “Get in there and clean those dishes, where’s my supper? I don’t have any clean underwear!”I think he gets it now. He’s realizing that keeping house and kids is a lot of work and he doesn’t have the time to do everything that he wants to do. Sound familiar STAHMs? I promised myself during this transition to me being away and him being at home that I would not once say, “I told you so.” or anything like that. I really want to support him and work with him and not hope and expect him to do it all. I know what that’s like and it is no fun to have to do it “all alone.”
More than anything I’ve realized how my husband felt when he came home to a messy house (supper was “always” done) and when he was wearing underwear twice or none at all because I hadn’t done laundry. Of course later he found out that he was out of undies because I was wearing his cause I didn’t have clean ones. 🙂 Being a parent at home is hard work and now I’ve lived both sides. Being a working parent is hard too. Maybe the job isn’t so hard, but I miss my kids. It’s a good balance for me to be outside the house more than in cause I seriously thought I was loosing it–I was loosing it. STAHMs, give yourself a break. You do need that time for you. Even when you feel like you don’t deserve it because you didn’t get anything done in the house, raising kids is hard work emotionally and we need that time away (especially with the Lord) to be replinished with what we have given so much of.
After being in school for almost three months now and away from home and away from my kids I appreciate so much more what I was and the impact I had. I was/am important even though I thought I was so insignificant and like I never got anything accomplished. Seeing what my husband is going through has helped me to see in hindsight that I did a lot each day and that my job at home was a lot of work. I chose to spend time with my kids and not wash dishes all the time or constantly fold laundry. Sometimes I just felt so defeated.
Now I’m learning how to balance school and family. It’s difficult because I still want to just do housework. But I use it as a tool to procrastinate because I feel as though housework is something I know how to do. Being a student has become foreign to me after being out of school for 6 years. Now that I appreciate what I was and what I did, housework is all I want to do. I acutally kind of feel as though I am in a greater position to be a mom because I don’t have pressure. I can just come home and love and play with my kids and not have to worry about anything else. I’m not always the bad guy anymore and I’m a lot less crabby because I feel like I’m acomplishing lots and nothing is getting in my way. I don’t have time for quilting, but all I want to do is be with my family when I get home, so that’s okay.
I run to my house when I get out of the car and I can’t wait to see everyone’s smiling face. When big stud was working I realized that I never got to see my kids get excited to see me. Now I do. I get to hear them yell, “MOMMY!” and see them jump up and down at the sight of me. That makes me happy. It’s not the same as being home with them, but they save up lots of cuteness for me to witness when we are together.