Wow! Has it really been that long since I last posted? I do apologize. I’ve been super busy. I mean, SUPER BUSY. I went to AR for a week and a half. My dad (step) had his 65th birthday. I did a solo dance there (loved the dress and the intro to the dance). I’m always hard on myself, but I had fun. I LOVE TO DANCE. And I made a quilt for him.
Since returning home I painted my kids’ room–again. I painted it before we left for Arkansas but the color was too LOUD. So I toned it down and I love it. We buy mistints at Home Depot and Lowes for $5 and mix them together to make the colors we like. I’ve also been doing a load of projects before August 15th when my life ends and the only thing I will have time for is reading books about psychology and hanging out with family. I had a yard sale Friday and Saturday. It went well. I didn’t make enough money to buy a juicer, but I had decided to just put the money into the family account anyway. After the garage sale on Friday I went with my husband to the rehearsal and groom’s dinner of a couple he married yesterday. I don’t know them I just went so I wouldn’t have to cook supper for me and the kids. We were invited. The food didn’t taste that good, but it was good to see the couple together again because the first time I saw them I didn’t think they were ready to get married. So I felt peace about Nathan performing the ceremony after that evening. So anyway, to the printed subject of my post.
Weddings. You know how most people cry at weddings? The bride coming down the aisle. Isn’t she so beautiful! The vows, the googly eyes it’s all so touching, right? Well, I don’t ever cry at weddings. I cry at rehearsal dinners and receptions. I typically cry when people get up and say how long they’ve known people and tell stories and at the father daughter dance. During the dance I usually have to leave so I don’t start convulsing and jerking with tears streaming down my face. I always want to see it though.
I grew up without a father. I always wanted one. I was born to be a daddy’s girl, but was denied that blessing as a result of divorce. I never let anyone get too close to me so I don’t have close friends that I’ve known since I was 3, in junior high, high school, or even college. But my God is a redeeming God.
Above all God is my father and has taught and is teaching me so much about the father’s heart. He is also my best friend. In both regards he has never left me nor has he ever forsaken me. And just because he loves me he has given me an earthly father in my step dad and my husband is my best friend. My dancing is always with my heavenly father and I look forward to the wedding feast when I will dance with him.
Seeing fathers and daughters ALWAYS touches my heart and I hope it always will. I prayed for a daughter before my little peanut was born so I could see what it is like to have a father–what fathers do and what daughters do. On earth I will never know how it feels to be held by your dad or to sit on his lap to be the apple of his eye and I miss that–even still. I find joy watching my daughter with her father and joy that her father is my husband and we are committed. By God’s grace no matter how difficult it could get ( I don’t anticipate times that hard) for my husband and I, I will not deprive my children of the joy and the blessing of being raised in a two-parent home centered on Christ and the Word of God.